The Naming of My Friend's Chinchilla
by DakotaOfGallifrey
Summary: HarryxDraco. To be honest, it doesn't make much sense. My friend made comentary on it.  MAJOR OCC and crack!  Naruto and Napoleon Dynamite refrences, but you don't need to have seen them before to read the story.  Enjoy.


**Author's note: Please, do not under any circumstances take this story seriously! This is not my good writing, I just figure this might make someone laugh, so why not brighten up someone's day? Some Naruto Shippuden refrences, but they don't play a big role...**

**The bold in the story is my friend Marina's commentary ^_^**

**I don't own Harry Potter, Napoleon Dynamite, or Naruto.**

* * *

><p><span>The Naming of Marina's Chinchilla<span>

"I'm pissed off," Draco growled as he walked into the kitchen**(feisty much?). **Draco was really pissed off. **We already established that**. He had to share a room with Potter, Harry FUVKING Potter.

"Why are you pissed off?" Harry asked.

"Because now I'm rooming with some bloody douche nozzle!" **Interesting vocab.**

"You don't love me anymore!" Harry cried as he grabbed the milk out of the fridge. He took a big gulp of the _creamy liquid_ straight form the carton. FROM THE CARTON! **How tragic!**

"Since when did I ever love you?" Draco yelled as he **(randomly)** pulled a cheese wheel out of the pantry.

Harry's bottom lip trembled before he burst into tears like a water buffalo, but Draco just stood their not giving a shit like a honey badger. Harry shook his head trying to hide his pained face behind his silky dark hair, gleaming in the mid day sun rays streaking through the window. Draco scowled at him as the moon light **(I thought it was sunlight) **bounced off his cheese wheel and illuminated his sexy blonde hair and hot blue(?)/green(?)/brown(?) eyes, needless to say he looked like a sex god. **Yummy. **

Harry, upon beholding what was the sexiness of Draco, couldn't stand the sight any longer, not bothering to cap his milk, he clutched the jug in his hand a started to run out of the room. But Ron had broken his glasses with his ass earlier that week and Draco's sexiness was blinding, so Harry couldn't see where he was going **(but he could see Draco's sexiness?) **and he crashed into the iron wall of Draco's... um... pectoral muscles.

The _creamy liquid_ spilled all over the blonde sex god's shirt and it was cold. "Potter, watch where you're going! Ugh. Now my nipples are hard!" They were.

They stared at each other awkwardly.

Then they had butt sex on the counter **(just like that?). **Draco was seme, obviously. They were really loud. Like, REALLY loud. So loud that Sirius and Napoleon Dynamite, who were busy having a slumber party with their friend Max, heard them.

"Gosh! They're so loud!" Napoleon complained and he sniffed his numchucks.?

"They grow up so fast," Sirius sighed and he took a sip of tea. "I remember the first time I had butt sex with a Malfoy."** Lovely. Wait, a Malfoy? He's cousins with the Malfoy's... **

Silence. Well, among them, Draco and Harry were still having loud, furious butt sex.

Max had (insert physical description here).

Then, the roof gave in from the force of Harry and Draco's hardcore butt sex and it collapsed onto Sirius and Napoleon, there were no survivors, except for Max, Draco, and Harry, who were still having butt sex. **Must be some pretty good butt sex. **

Max stared awkwardly at the two dudes banging on top of his friends bodies. **How pleasant. **

Then all of a sudden, a short guy with short brown hair and an albino sasquatch dropped through the roof, followed by an Indian guy riding on a giant pumpkin and two girls riding on a ginormous clay bird with a man in a orange lollipop mask clinging for life on it's talon.** Come again? **

"I am Carson," the short guy announced, "and this is Squatch." The albino sasquatch gave them (well, Max. Harry and Draco were still having butt sex) a crooked grin.

"I am Mohamed," the Indian guy said in a heavy Badalandabab-like accent. "This is Itachi," he added, gesturing to the pumpkin, which actually had a -/_\- face carved in it.

Max tilted his head to the side, deeply confused** (I feel ya', Maxy-boy).** He figured he should at least go along with it, "Um... pleasure to meet you. And what are your ladies names?"

"I'm a dude, un!" the blonde girl yelled in a deep, sexy man voice, her his bangs covered the left side of his face and the rest of her his was pulled up into a high ponytail. He sighed and then spoke again, "My name is Deidara and this is my sister." He gestured to the second girl.

She was slightly shorter than him with brown hair pulled away from her face in a messy ponytail/bun and square lensed glasses. "I'm Marina!" she chirped. Both of them were dressed in black cloaks with large red clouds scattered on the fabric.

"Don't forget about Tobi!" the lollipop masked man yelled in a loud obnoxious voice.

They were then interrupted by Draco and Harry, who's butt sex magic had grown to such great power it turned Max into a chinchilla.

"It's so adorable!" Marina cooed **(I don't "coo"). **She walked over to the furball and picked it up, "I'll name it Max Napoleon Sirius-Black Draco Mohamed Potter-Malfoy!"

The end. **Thank god.**

* * *

><p><strong>Author's note: Well, there you have it, the worst story I have written.<strong>

**I'm sorry you had to witness that. **


End file.
